alhamdulilah di sisa usia ini, masih bisa berkarya, masih sehat,
terpenting masih bisa menikmati hidup, manis manisnya, pait paitnya hahaha.
i'm so happy that i get the chance to watch you grow,
jadi anak laki laki kecil yang antusias, positif, cerdas,
dan selalu bisa menghargai hal hal kecil dalam hidup kamu.
happy birthday baby, you are my pride and my joy,
my reason to live. thank you for arriving in my life,
making me a mother and a wiser person.
and to me, happy 30th bday!!! hahaha, for a couple of time tentu sajah,
because i've passed my real 30th birthday some time ago.
aaanyway, ih tuwir yah hohoho. tapi gak apa apa. let's embrace and age gracefully.
there are reasons why i stated to be 30 (again) hahaha,
kemaren kemaren sih karna rasanya gue kok belom siap ya mengemban usia 30+,
kayanya ko dewasa banget... like "no adulthood, i'm not ready yet. come back another year."
tapikan ndak iso ya sis hahaha.
so i let myself believe that i'll be 30 yo for another 5 years, or at least until i'm ready,
ready for adulthood.
tapi ternyata adulthood came earlier hahaha... belom 35 aku udah berhasil jalanin adulthood,
adulthood versi gue lho yaaa tapinya. so here are some notes i highlight, entering my pre 35 yo.
pursue happiness, everything else is secondary
i have this as my screen saver btw, my second favorite quote.
every so often, i caught myself running around fast, chasing nothing,
dulu dulu sih, obsesi nya materi. gimana caranya survive, ngga nyusahin orangtua,
tapi bisa hidup cukup, sama anak 2, trying to float my own business, and maybe flying it high.
skarang, i pursue happiness. ternyata punya materi yang berlebih juga ngga bikin gimana gimana,
happy hearts are more important than that.
klise banget yah, kaya mariu tegoh *sumpah ini bukan typo*,
tapi buat gue ini beneran. money, is one thing, but having a blissful heart, is more important.
karna dengan gitu, kita akan selalu appreciate apapun yang ada di hadapan kita,
rejeki, tantangan, the sweet, the bitter... that attitude... really makes my life easier.
bukan berarti tiba tiba ngga seneng duit loh hahaha, sayakan forever tim betharia, tim sendu.
it's just lately, i've found out that what matter the most, is my mindset.
if you're proud of everything that you've worked hard for,
and you appreciate what in your hands rite now, things starts to get a liiitle bit easier to handle.
kids won't stay small forever
yakaaan!!! semua ibu ibu yang anaknya mulai masuk sekolah pasti berasa hahaha,
me and Kin used to hang out in the morning, watching doc mcstuffin and sofia.
suddenly she goes to school everyday. i was like "aw crappp, sofia isn't fun without her."
gitu bangettt... my eldest, even worse. kalo gue liat dia dari jauh,
i was like "oh my GOD, soon he's gonna listen to some killer music i've never heard of, huhuhu.
with this kind of workload, i have to admit, kadang kadang udah semi auto pilot,
pulang kantor langsung beberes, bebersih, makan, tidurrr. RIGHT???!!!
karna badan udah lodohhh, udah capekkk, udah pegel. gampang banget "ninggalin" anak anak,
not talking to them about how their days were, or not cuddling before bed,
dan, karna kita terbiasa untuk terpisah for a coupe of days, anak anak gue sebenernya santai aja,
lebih mirip kaya pak RT, 2x24 jam, kalo gak ketemu, baru kangen. hahaha...
solusinya sebenernya sederhana, talk to the kids,
at least talk about how their days were, and end with telling what my days looked like,
re check their school work, lie down with them, let them crawl into your back, play with your hair,
because they won't stay little for too long now.
dream it, and become it
when i was in my quarter life crisis, gue sempet mikir, 10 taun lagi gue gimana ya?
karena siapa yang tau sih masa depan kita kaya apaan? yakan yakan yakan???
karna gue orangnya worried-holic, pikiran pikiran worried gitu bikin gue gak fokus.
gue inget banget, gimana gue pelan pelan buang all those worried thought,
and just channel my energy to do whataver that i have to do. ten years later,
suddenly i'm here hahaha. alhamdulilah, basically everything i dreamed of, is here.
the last thing i picked up this year, is that no dreams are too big.
so if i can go back 10 years, and talk to the confused little young me, i'd say this:
you're doing good, don't worry. of course life is confusing now, your love life sucks,
your work doesn't seem to go around in circle, you financial is even worse.
but you need to hang on. storm won't last forever, this too, shall pass.
but rainbow won't last forever also, they will always take turns.
i need you to stay stronger. just a little bit more. because eventually, you'll get there.
10 years from now, you're gonna be fine, healthy and happy.
with your loving husband, two beautiful children, a perfect support system called family,