Introducing how to shed manly tears

a 6 yo soul is probably one of the most delicate one in a child's lifetime,
peralihan dari bayi besar ke anak, peralihan dari sekolah hore horean (di TK), ke SD.
sebenernya sekaligus pembuktian si, ajaran-ajaran kita sejak dia balita, berhasil nggak.
parameternya sih sederhana aja, kalo kira kira 'ke iseng an' si bocah masih bisa ditolerir oleh umum,
perilaku nya masih acceptable di ranah umum, i'd say the parents have nailed it.

buat ibuknya, yang paling deg deg ser adalah 'nemenin' masa masa ini,
prepping him a whole lot of things he'll be dealing with in the future.
karna gue percaya, apapun yang terjadi di fase ini, adalah pintu untuk refleksi pribadi Ar kedepannya.
so a couple of weeks ago, there were this.

Ar brought home 2 books, and all excited about it. pagi pagi begitu bangun tidur,
langsung minta bacain, berulang ulang. hadehhh, begitu melek mami langsung suru bacain,
udah gitu karna dia belum ngerti ngerti amat basa inggris, jadi bacainnya bilingual bok. hmmmh.
kebetulan itu long wiken, jadi emang anak anak gue biarin main terosss, berantakin rumahhh,
mereka emang punya spot main, but on long weekend like that, every room is playing room.
they would play lego on the playing desk, main rumah rumahan di pinggir kasur, etc etc etc.

sunday evening, seperti biasa kita siapkan buku untuk senin, dan buku pustaka nya harus dibalikin.
however, the books were gone. duweng, kzl. hahaha...
semaleman dicariin, tetep ngga ada, kasur kasur sampe diangkatin, tetep ngga ada. zzz.
he was kinda panic that night, berkali kali bergumam "dimana ya? dimana ya bukunya?"
and i let him try to look for it. so he knows, he should be more careful with his belongings,
we all helped him at the end, but there were like gone with the wind.

monday morning, gue tulis surat untuk pak guru, telling him the books were still MIA, Ar lost it.
silakan diinformasikan konsekuensinya kepada Ar.
sambil nulis surat di meja makan, Ar bediri di sisi kanan gue, then i told him to read,
menurut gue, dia juga harus tau, apa yang akan gue sampaikan ke pak guru,
particularly karna we're talking about him. dia bintang tamunya, so i let him read.
gue jelasin, konsekuensi itu apa maksudnya.

jadi kalo Ar rajin bikin PR, konsekuensi nya dapat nilai bagus di sekolah,
perbuatan baik, konsekuensinya juga baik.
tapi kalo Ar ngga menyimpan buku pustaka dengan baik, jadi hilang.
nah konsekuensi nya nanti pak guru yang akan tentukan.
perbuatan kurang baik, juga ada konsekuensi nya.

then out of the blue, he sunk his face, into my left arms, and stood still.
he sunk his face and froze.
i thought it hit him, some electric shock that tells your body: oh no, i've done something wrong.

gue kaget!!! kok dia langsung nyungsep gituuu oh baby...
terus gue ngapain?
hahahaha... saya kaget dulu sih, for sure. hahaha...
gue coba angkat mukanya, so we can talk normally, dia gak mau.
mukanya tetep dinyungsepin di lengan gue.

ternyata dia sedih banget dan agak takut juga karna udah ngilangin buku pustaka sekolah,
i figured, karena that's what he does when he's on feels miserable like this. he hid his face,
sementara kalo dia marah, dan lagi gue ajak bicara, he would sit still in front of me, with eyes closed.
AHA!

after figured out what happend, gue coba untuk tenangin dia, usap usap punggung nya,
gue cuma tekanin 3 hal to the sad little man:
1. it's ok to make mistake, everybody does
2. when you do, please apologise, and please promise not do repeat it.
3. kalo Ar sedih, it's ok. you can cry. tapi laki laki kalo nangis cuma sebentar.

sepanjang jalan dari rumah ke sekolah, dia nemplokkk ahirnya di bahu gue,
bener bener kaya bayi aja, he sat on my lap, facing me, arms around my neck,
face on my shoulder.
when i finally hug the little man, i hug him tight. as an expression of : it's ok sweetie, it's OK.
his shoulder were shaken a little bit, he cried a little.
oh my boy... the litte-manly tears has shed. uhuhuhu...
bener ya kata orang, kalo anak lagi sedih, orangtuanya suka merasa dua kali lebih sedih uhuuu...

abis ngulang-ngulang pesen yang sama, gue coba menghibur dia dengan mancing mancing cerita,
karna kita udah mau sampe sekolahan, i need him to be ready for school at once.
untung ahirnya dia angkat mukanya dari dada gue, terus dia mulai ceria lagi.

o
my
GOD.
what
an
experience!

pengennya dia jadi laki laki yang punya empati, lembut hatinya, tapi tetep decisive dan logis.
gue agak dilema juga sih sebenernya, how to introduce crying properly to a young man,
but i think he nailed this one! how to cry manly tears.

dilema kedua adalah tentang gimanaaa ya caranya dan gimana cara balance nya,
karna gue juga gakmau kalo dia tumbuh jadi anak yang bentar bentar nangis, baper gitu hahaha.
my goal is to tell him, that you can cry... laki laki juga punya perasaan, therefore, you can cry.
i hope by saying: men do cry, but only cry a little,

mudah mudahan ini bisa jadi salah satu jembatan buat Ar & buat gue,
aside from all academic achievement i'd like him to conquer - duile ambisius amat buk! 
dalam proses menjadi laki laki idaman gadis, dan calon mamah mertua. KYAAAA hahaha...
mudah mudahan kamu kalo udah gede cakep ganteng gini ya mas *teteppp*




Comments

whileinsydney said…
aduh bumimut. akyu terharu :")
risti said…
memtyk, aku opo menehhh TTT___TTT
besinikel said…
hoaaaaa, aku pingin nanhgis bacanya. T_____T
Aaah Mbak Risti.. Kagum dan makasih banget dah dishare ceritanya. Saya baru sampe bolehin nangis kalo sakit dan sedih. Belom sampe ke sedikitnya. Makasih ya Mbak:)

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