A decade from today

so we're probably familiar about how much technology change us,
iyadong, sampe ada games tumpuk henfon di meja.
you know, kalo kita lagi makan rame-rame, or if it's just me and erw,
this is what we do.

we stack our phones, facing down, on the table, no one's able to touch it.
tarohannya gak bayarin makan sih, karena mostly he paid the bill hahaha.
tarohannya pijetin punggung sampe ketiduran!
and i'd have to say... it's pretty effective!!! hahaha.
tadinya kan tuan besar cuma nontonin gue mainan ayfon,
since he has his own android, we become those rude people on the dining table.
not a good example, per say. jangan dicontoh, ditiru atau digugu.
but not anymore, now we're more civilized, alhamdulilah yaaa...
we talk more, we enjoy our dinner more, apalagi kalo home made,
dan anak anak udah bobo,
wuidiii tenang banget makan berdua tanpa harus nyuapin siapapun,
kecuali saling nyuapin, nostalgia pas akad nikah dulu. ihihihik...

i can't help to wander, to think, how would it be, a decade from now,
kids would be exposed more and more to technology, ait.
masa iya gue mau perem anak anak gue, gak boleh kenalan sama teknologi,
i don't think that's wise ya...
but on the other hand, apalagi kalo inget seminar bu elly risman yang sempet gue datengin.
aaakkk, ceyemmm, mamahhh... jaman sudah berubahhh. tatuttt, tatuttt, tatuttt!

kalo dewasa kaya gue & erw aja perlu komitmen, dan niat,
untuk bener bener taro henfon pas makan, gimana anak anak ya?
udah gitu, i have to admit, that sometimes i brought working stuff with my phone,
on our way back home. bahkan pas anak anak lagi mainan lego,
gue masih suka mainan path, balesin whatsapp. *sigh*

teaching a kid to be well mannered itu loh yang susah.
remember this post?
where i spot an 8 yo eatin fuzzily with an ipad next to the noodle bowl?
lha... malesin banget kan? dan itu kejadiannya di plaza di jakarta loh...
tempat gue tinggal...
ibarat kata ya, kalo walking dead pun sampe kejadian,
i wouldn't worry that much, jauh bok... di emrik, masih jauh lah dari jekardah.
Jombi nya juga pe-er kalo musti jalan kemarih.
Dan kalo gue suka baca artikel tentang anak anak yang behavior nya liar di barat sonoh,
gue masih bisa: yaaa... disana juga beda kali yah pola asuhnya.
tapi ini kejadian di jakarta, yang artinya, anytime, anak gue bisa ketularan.

then i stumbled upon this article, on how a mom, gave an iphone to her 13 yo son,
with an agreement, a fair one, i must say. diambil dari huffpost

Dear Gregory
Merry Christmas! You are now the proud owner of an iPhone. Hot Damn! You are a good and responsible 13-year-old boy and you deserve this gift. But with the acceptance of this present comes rules and regulations. Please read through the following contract. I hope that you understand it is my job to raise you into a well rounded, healthy young man that can function in the world and coexist with technology, not be ruled by it. Failure to comply with the following list will result in termination of your iPhone ownership.
I love you madly and look forward to sharing several million text messages with you in the days to come.
1. It is my phone. I bought it. I pay for it. I am loaning it to you. Aren't I the greatest?

2. I will always know the password.
3. If it rings, answer it. It is a phone. Say hello, use your manners. Do not ever ignore a phone call if the screen reads "Mom" or "Dad." Not ever.
4. Hand the phone to one of your parents promptly at 7:30 p.m. every school night and every weekend night at 9:00 p.m. It will be shut off for the night and turned on again at 7:30 a.m. If you would not make a call to someone's land line, wherein their parents may answer first, then do not call or text. Listen to those instincts and respect other families like we would like to be respected.
5. It does not go to school with you. Have a conversation with the people you text in person. It's a life skill. *Half days, field trips and after school activities will require special consideration.
6. If it falls into the toilet, smashes on the ground, or vanishes into thin air, you are responsible for the replacement costs or repairs. Mow a lawn, babysit, stash some birthday money. It will happen, you should be prepared.
7. Do not use this technology to lie, fool, or deceive another human being. Do not involve yourself in conversations that are hurtful to others. Be a good friend first or stay the hell out of the crossfire.
8. Do not text, email, or say anything through this device you would not say in person.
9. Do not text, email, or say anything to someone that you would not say out loud with their parents in the room. Censor yourself.
10. No porn. Search the web for information you would openly share with me. If you have a question about anything, ask a person -- preferably me or your father.
11. Turn it off, silence it, put it away in public. Especially in a restaurant, at the movies, or while speaking with another human being. You are not a rude person; do not allow the iPhone to change that.
12. Do not send or receive pictures of your private parts or anyone else's private parts. Don't laugh. Someday you will be tempted to do this despite your high intelligence. It is risky and could ruin your teenage/college/adult life. It is always a bad idea. Cyberspace is vast and more powerful than you. And it is hard to make anything of this magnitude disappear -- including a bad reputation.
13. Don't take a zillion pictures and videos. There is no need to document everything. Live your experiences. They will be stored in your memory for eternity.
14. Leave your phone home sometimes and feel safe and secure in that decision. It is not alive or an extension of you. Learn to live without it. Be bigger and more powerful than FOMO (fear of missing out).
15. Download music that is new or classic or different than the millions of your peers that listen to the same exact stuff. Your generation has access to music like never before in history. Take advantage of that gift. Expand your horizons.
16. Play a game with words or puzzles or brain teasers every now and then.
17. Keep your eyes up. See the world happening around you. Stare out a window. Listen to the birds. Take a walk. Talk to a stranger. Wonder without googling.
18. You will mess up. I will take away your phone. We will sit down and talk about it. We will start over again. You and I, we are always learning. I am on your team. We are in this together.
It is my hope that you can agree to these terms. Most of the lessons listed here do not just apply to the iPhone, but to life. You are growing up in a fast and ever changing world. It is exciting and enticing. Keep it simple every chance you get. Trust your powerful mind and giant heart above any machine. I love you. I hope you enjoy your awesome new iPhone.
gituuu ceritanyaaa... fair kan ya si ibu. this is a good example of negotiation,
dia juga encourage bahwa there's a wild wide world out there for him to explore.
dunia tidak selebar layar aypad, cyin.

moreover, ini sesuwayyy sama cita cita gue, negotation door would be open at these ages.
tapi ya, emang anak 13 taun masih mau dengerin ibuknya and do all the things she asks?
nah, disitulah letak kesulitan yang ingin gue tebarkan dalam postingan ini.
terus gimana dong, supaya anak 13 taun yang notabene abege,
lagi mulai mencari jatidiri & mulai mem-bengal dari rumah,
karena dunia luar obviously jauh lebih menarik untuk di eksplorasi.
not to mention peer groups yang gak bisa 100% kita pantau, HOREHHH. *lalu pingsan*

terus terus terus, musti gimana dong?
kalo gue, ya persiapan... that's the only way i'd win this game.
gue punya 10 taun untuk mendekat ke anak anak gue,
to be their 'bestfriend', sebelum akhirnya mereka menginjak usia 13 tahun,
gue punya 10 taun untuk tau, sebenernya gimana cara terbaik handling anak anak gue,
gimana cara terbaik ngenalin mereka ke dunia yang fana ini... halahhh.
10 taun untuk persiapin semuanya, sebelum ahirnya mereka selesai jadi anak anak.
terus minta henfon, minta pergi ke mal sama temen temen, minta sleepover,
sampe ahirnya minta mobil, minta kita doain pas dia sidang skripsi, sampe minta ijin kawin.

tegang cyin?
so pasti... kalo kurang tegang, coba sambil naik korakora!


Anonymous said…
Merinding Mba! Gotta share thia to my wife or if possible and I can find a way to. Reblog it. May I? Makasih ya Mba Risti! :)
risti said…
@ dani: lebih tepatnya MERKINDING dan!!!!
silakeuuun daniii... happy to share lah pokoknya. mudah mudahan membantu danbul (dani & mbak bul) hihihi
Andina said…
Wah, ide yg bagus, mbak, soal game numpuk handphone itu! Thanks for sharing..

And yes, ngebiasain bernegosiasi, mengungkapkan pendapat, diskusi, open minded, sama problem solving emang jadi PR nih.. buat bekal anak nantinya.. Life skill that must be mastered.. :)
risti said…
Works like magic for me & erw, nin! Tapi abis bill nya dateng langsung sibuk henfonan lagi hahaha...
Emang edannn yah tugas ortu hohoho, semangattt!
Andina said…
*manggut2 baca reply-an mbak risti sambil intip posh_id* :))))))))
Anonymous said…
Hai Risti..
salam kenal!just stumbled upon your blog, and I'm a new fan of your writing..especially this one. Hufft,tegang bener ya jadi orangtua..God, please don't let me mess my kids' life..ihiks.
risti said…
Hay hay maya, terharu banget loh aku hahaha *blogger newbie norak*
Tegang yaaa, pdhal gak naik kora kora, nut dont worry.. Selalu ada celah untuk belajar kok. Kita belajar bareng yaaa
risti said…
Wakakakak... Dohhh abis gajian pulakkk. Bahaya bener ngintip disana!!
risti said…
Btw knapa gua so akrap amattt manggil maya??? Padahal mungkin panggilannya rury. Akkk *tarik2 kerudung*

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