that boy and this girl
diawali sama cus wulan yang mbah nya meninggal dunia di kampung.
innalilahi...
terus dia cuti 7 hari, gue tahan dong... "5 hari aja deh sus".
oke, dia setuju walopun pada ahirnya tetep cuti 7 hari. blahhh
during her time off, i was fully in charge of the boy. arka.
call be a beast, tapi gue emang udah lama ngga ngurusin hal hal printilannya arka.
logically speaking, and in my defense: i had people to do it, so i can do something else.
nah dari minggu lalu, he's literally nanny-less.
i got my hands on his a to z. not a big deal, really.
gue optimis banget bahwa gue bisa handle arka-rumah-kantor altogether!
karena cuma ada 1 nanny yang bantu kita, dan no housemaid.
otomatis gue gantian pegang anak anak sama erwin & cus maryam nanny nya kinan.
yet.
on the other side of the tale... walopun gue sering blogwalking,
dan membaca betapa berharganya menjadi ibu dari seorang anak atau dua orang anak.
sebenernya gue ngga terlalu sentimentil sama perubahan status dari perempuan menjadi ibu,
sometimes i got happier when they're sleeping!
on both delivery processes, yes i got that teary tears of joy.
then afterwards... nop.
gue orangnya lebih fungsional daripada sentimental.
makanya gue lebih fokus sama "how should i raise my kid",
disambung sama "what's the dos and the donts for my kids",
ketimbang "how do they feel about it"
on myself,
gue lebih sering merasa tetep gadis dan ngga banyak perubahan dengan adanya anak.
gue masih bisa tidur siang di wiken, nitipin anak anak sama suster,
ketimbang susah payah nahan ngantuk & cape untuk nemenin mereka main.
deep inside, i'm still the girl i used to be selain badan udah agak goyor yah neikkk.
but last night something happened to the girl.
dua anak gue bawa ke kamar. niatnya sih biar pada bobo bareng.
yasalammm... malah pada mainan & cekikikan...
gue diemin aja, sambil gue awasin.
terus ada kejadian combo si arka keplak adiknya, gue larang dan beri wejangan.
terus tendang adiknya. again, gue larang dan beri wejangan.
terus tarik kaos adiknya. still, gue larang dan beri wejangan.
terus jambak adiknya. dan setelah beberapa kali sequence itu, i got snapped.
kinan gue oper ke susternya, arka yang lagi main di pojokan kamar ber-gesture kaya mau pup.
ohhh, gue ajak ke toilet, dia ngamuk. marah marah. gue bujukin terus,
sampe ahirnya, he pooped on his pants.
i was in an instant rage. I WAS FURIOUS!
langsung gue pegang lengannya, angkat badannya ke WC,
i snapped that i said silly words like
"arka kok nakal sih? pup di celana? anak nakal tidurnya di garasi ajadeh"
my voice trembled. i was so mad at him for acting up that night.
ahirnya gue buka bajunya semua. gue cengkiwing, mandiin dibawah shower.
dia nangis nangis.
selesai gue gantiin baju, dia minta susu & keliatan udah ngantuk.
then i sit beside him.
gue sedih.
kenapa sih gue musti snapped out segitunya perkara pup dicelana doang?
i know i had a tiring week, but that can't be the reason for my action.
gue langsung kebayang gimana perasaan dia.
yang pingin main sama adiknya, tapi dicerewetin terus sama ibunya "mas, jangan ini-itu-ati ati."
furthermore, ke perasaan dia yang selalu gue atur atur ini itu anu.
what have i become? a control freak momzilla slash devilish villain mother.
abis gue marah marahin gitu, anaknya gue pangku.
gue ajak bicara, i told him that i was sad.
"mama sedih mas ngga mau bilang kalau mau pup. kan udah janji ngga pup di celana."
then i cried. out of nowehere.
i just cried, berlinang linang airmata gue...
dia?
malah ikutan nangis liat gue nangis.
terus lengan gue ditepuk tepuk... he was not mad at me.
not at all.
langsung kebayang, dalam hidupnya yang baru sebentar ini,
ada kali, sejuta kali gue marahin dia,
and each time we're done, i always put him on my lap and told him why i was mad.
then we both said sorry.
rasanya sejuta kali itu juga dia maafin gue.
at the end of each fight, dia selalu senyum, dan ahirnya peluk gue.
kadang ditambah sun pipi kiri-kanan-bibir.
terus kenapa tadi malem dia sekali pup di celana dan gue marah besar?
it was only one time that day. and he was still on toilet training.
i got sentimental.
i know their little minds absorb anything in the speed of light.
kebayang kalo yang arka inget dari ibunya adalah perempuan yang gampang marah.
dan yang arka inget dari bapaknya adalah laki laki yang cuma mau gendong adiknya.
i know the boy already have a solid mind of his own.
now i have to change the girl in me, faster than the speed of light.
innalilahi...
terus dia cuti 7 hari, gue tahan dong... "5 hari aja deh sus".
oke, dia setuju walopun pada ahirnya tetep cuti 7 hari. blahhh
during her time off, i was fully in charge of the boy. arka.
call be a beast, tapi gue emang udah lama ngga ngurusin hal hal printilannya arka.
logically speaking, and in my defense: i had people to do it, so i can do something else.
nah dari minggu lalu, he's literally nanny-less.
i got my hands on his a to z. not a big deal, really.
gue optimis banget bahwa gue bisa handle arka-rumah-kantor altogether!
karena cuma ada 1 nanny yang bantu kita, dan no housemaid.
otomatis gue gantian pegang anak anak sama erwin & cus maryam nanny nya kinan.
pegang kinan is easy dengan nada sombong! hahaha...
dia baru bisa jalan max 3 langkah dan bisa ditenteng kemana mana.
makan juga udah bisa nasi berkuah, jadi gampang diajakin pergi pergi.
anaknya juga gampangan banget, dicilukba-in udah ngakak ngakak.
hobinya cuma baca buku 100 animals sama manjat manjatin bufet.
pegang arka is another story.
he's in his challenging two.
dibilang masih kecil, tapi pemikiran & perasaannya kadang udah kaya anak gede.
dibilang udah gede, tapi kenyataannya emang masih 2,5 tahun.
apalagi kalo tidur tangannya suka terkepal gitu kaya newborn. ihihihi... gemes...
yet.
on the other side of the tale... walopun gue sering blogwalking,
dan membaca betapa berharganya menjadi ibu dari seorang anak atau dua orang anak.
sebenernya gue ngga terlalu sentimentil sama perubahan status dari perempuan menjadi ibu,
sometimes i got happier when they're sleeping!
on both delivery processes, yes i got that teary tears of joy.
then afterwards... nop.
gue orangnya lebih fungsional daripada sentimental.
makanya gue lebih fokus sama "how should i raise my kid",
disambung sama "what's the dos and the donts for my kids",
ketimbang "how do they feel about it"
on myself,
gue lebih sering merasa tetep gadis dan ngga banyak perubahan dengan adanya anak.
gue masih bisa tidur siang di wiken, nitipin anak anak sama suster,
ketimbang susah payah nahan ngantuk & cape untuk nemenin mereka main.
deep inside, i'm still the girl i used to be selain badan udah agak goyor yah neikkk.
but last night something happened to the girl.
dua anak gue bawa ke kamar. niatnya sih biar pada bobo bareng.
yasalammm... malah pada mainan & cekikikan...
gue diemin aja, sambil gue awasin.
terus ada kejadian combo si arka keplak adiknya, gue larang dan beri wejangan.
terus tendang adiknya. again, gue larang dan beri wejangan.
terus tarik kaos adiknya. still, gue larang dan beri wejangan.
terus jambak adiknya. dan setelah beberapa kali sequence itu, i got snapped.
kinan gue oper ke susternya, arka yang lagi main di pojokan kamar ber-gesture kaya mau pup.
ohhh, gue ajak ke toilet, dia ngamuk. marah marah. gue bujukin terus,
sampe ahirnya, he pooped on his pants.
i was in an instant rage. I WAS FURIOUS!
langsung gue pegang lengannya, angkat badannya ke WC,
i snapped that i said silly words like
"arka kok nakal sih? pup di celana? anak nakal tidurnya di garasi ajadeh"
my voice trembled. i was so mad at him for acting up that night.
ahirnya gue buka bajunya semua. gue cengkiwing, mandiin dibawah shower.
dia nangis nangis.
selesai gue gantiin baju, dia minta susu & keliatan udah ngantuk.
then i sit beside him.
gue sedih.
kenapa sih gue musti snapped out segitunya perkara pup dicelana doang?
i know i had a tiring week, but that can't be the reason for my action.
gue langsung kebayang gimana perasaan dia.
yang pingin main sama adiknya, tapi dicerewetin terus sama ibunya "mas, jangan ini-itu-ati ati."
furthermore, ke perasaan dia yang selalu gue atur atur ini itu anu.
what have i become? a control freak momzilla slash devilish villain mother.
abis gue marah marahin gitu, anaknya gue pangku.
gue ajak bicara, i told him that i was sad.
"mama sedih mas ngga mau bilang kalau mau pup. kan udah janji ngga pup di celana."
then i cried. out of nowehere.
i just cried, berlinang linang airmata gue...
dia?
malah ikutan nangis liat gue nangis.
terus lengan gue ditepuk tepuk... he was not mad at me.
not at all.
langsung kebayang, dalam hidupnya yang baru sebentar ini,
ada kali, sejuta kali gue marahin dia,
and each time we're done, i always put him on my lap and told him why i was mad.
then we both said sorry.
rasanya sejuta kali itu juga dia maafin gue.
at the end of each fight, dia selalu senyum, dan ahirnya peluk gue.
kadang ditambah sun pipi kiri-kanan-bibir.
terus kenapa tadi malem dia sekali pup di celana dan gue marah besar?
it was only one time that day. and he was still on toilet training.
i got sentimental.
i know their little minds absorb anything in the speed of light.
kebayang kalo yang arka inget dari ibunya adalah perempuan yang gampang marah.
dan yang arka inget dari bapaknya adalah laki laki yang cuma mau gendong adiknya.
i know the boy already have a solid mind of his own.
now i have to change the girl in me, faster than the speed of light.
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