Home (still) sweet home

ehm, posting ini sepertinya akan sedikit haru biru, terutama buat gue...
we're moving out of bintaro.
tuh kan, baru nulis 2 baris udah pingin sendu... HAUUU...

iyah, kenapa sih? kan enak di bintaro, apa apa deket, apa apa ada,
terus udah 7 taun juga disitu, udah ikrib sama semua rutinitasnya.
mmmh, the main reason is for the greater good. ih gaya bener istilahnya!
pertama kali gue denger istilah the greater good, adalah di film hot fuzz hahaha...
it's something bitter we have to deal with, in order to have a betterment.

jadi, dalam rentang rencana jangka panjang, eventually gue erw arka kinan,
akan pindah kesini. dalam bayang bayang rencana, kita akan kumpulin duit,
terus bangun rumah impian sendiri di tanah ini. rencananya sihhh 2 taun lagi,
pas arka masuk SD lah, karna kita udah sreg dengan sekolahan anak anak,
jadi nanti pindah dari bintaro, sekalian cari tempat tempat les disini.

tapi ternyata, setengah semester jalanin rute bintaro pondok labu jaya,
aduuu... painful sekaliloh. bukan painful in my term ya, in my kids' term.
arka harus berangkat jam 6 kurang, yet macet ini itu anu, sampe sekolah tetep 7 lewat.
temen temennya udah pada baris, dan dia selalu ngga punya waktu untuk main main dulu.
kasiaaannn, aku nelangsa banget ngeliat dia masuk nyempil ke barisan yang udah jadi.
bu guru sempet mention, sambil becanda, not really a big issue-YET.
tapi gue gak tegaaa, bayangin dia sepagi itu berangkat, kelamaan di jalan, ahirnya telat juga.
udah gitu, bensin & tol emang jadi boros bangettt, sebulan aja beberapa juta abis kesitu,
hmmmhhh...

jadi pilihannya cuma 2: pindah sekolah, atau pindah rumah. nah...
kita ambil yang kedua, dengan segala macem perihal khawatir nemplok ria di hati.
Ada gengsi juga, ya dooong, to be honest,
The most ideal home is our own home, keluarga kecil gue sendiri.
tapi nyatanya gue balik kerumah mamah papah, yaaa, sebenernya mereka seneng banget kalo ada kita, jadi rame... Biasanya berduaan doang gitu, kalo lagi keluar kota, ya rumahnya melomponggg...
knowing adik gue kayanya gakan balik ke jakarta dalam waktu deket,
I guess i'll be the one who should stay close and take care of them.
It's mutually good actually. Karna papah seneng kalo suru anter jemput anak anak hahaha...

gue juga udah terbiasa atur rumah tangga sendiri selama ini,
sekarang nyatu rumah sama rumah mamah, walopun beda atap, worried.
nanti asisten gue, get along ngga ya sama asisten mamah? worried.
barang barang gue yang udah homey banget, musti rombak totalll. worried.
anak anak tidur di tempat baru, berkegiatan seharian di tempat baru. worried.
erw will be leaving to office from a new place, nanti naik bis apa? worried.
kalo gue mau lari pagi kemana rutenya? nanti ada anjing lagi. worried.

oh! not to mention, the house will be right next to my office.
about 50 meters gitu, 10 langkahan kaki.
what if i can't switch off my work mood, what if i can't sleep? worried.
gosh, so many things to be thought about, so little time.

so what i did was... i left it all behind. ahirnya gue cuma fokus: what's the goal?
supaya anak anak ngga kelamaan dijalan, dan supaya ngirit bensin & tol ya.
oke. i stick to that.
bukanya gampang yaaa, apalagi gue tu ga terlalu cepet adaptasi sama hal baru,
and this is a new home. new. home.

terahir gue pindah rumah adalah, dari sini, ke bintaro.
which was my glorious moment hahaha... i was in my mid 20s, single,
living separately from my parents, and i earned enough money. azek berattt!
i would go out every time i wanted to, do everything i wanted to...
seru gilakkk, menurut gue, it was one of the best moment in my life.
but not so much on romance department actually hahaha, ketauan yeee, jombloh.
di bintaro ini, hati gue berubah, jadi dewasa...
yang tadinya nyari pacar karna pingin seneng seneng, mulai cari suami,
gue patah hati, gue ditolak sama laki laki, gue naksir, gue ditembak cowo,
sampe ahirnya erw dateng.
terus nikah.
terus hamil, terus ada arka... our firstborn. terus ada kinan,
terus anak anak mulai besar...
tuh kannn, aku jadi sentimentil dehhh.

makanya pas dari bali kemarin, aku breakdown banget... karna kita langsung packing,
semuanya dibungkus, dibawa ke rumah baru.
pas nutup pintu mobil, tungguin erw kunci kunci, aku sesek napas...
agak bingung sih awalnya, lhaaa, knapa ini gua?!?!?!
oh ternyata pingin nangis...

so moving in this time is a lot lot lot harder than the last time i did,
karna sekarang, i do it for the greater good, bukan karna pingin.
yaaa, selalu susah kaaan, kalo melakukan sesuatu yang sebenernya gak pingin kita lakuin,
but yeah, i am completely sane, sadar kok. there's no way juga gue mau pelihara gaya mid 20s.

erw was super patient to my behavior, dia nungguin gue selesai nangis,
being cute all the time tiap kali gue cemberut, terus peluk peluk hihihi...
sampe ahirnya gue bisa cerita, that i experienced so many things in that house,
7 years isn't short loh, apalagi dalam masa pencarian jodoh, yang melabilkan abisss.
i found my true self there in that house, i found a family, i become a better person.

gitudeh ceritanya, sekarang alhamdulilah mulai rapi lagi semuanya,
pagi pagi anak anak bangun, langsung pada mandi, makan, arka bisa main main dulu,
sampe jam 7 kurang, baru jalan... kinan nyusul gue anterin jam 8 kurang.
i still have my time with the kids between work, nemenin mereka mewarnai,
atau bobo siang...
the best of all, if i may say, i just need 2 minutes to get home, after a very long day,
cuma 10 langkah aja, nyampe dehhh dirumah. bisa santai, nonton tivi, mandi air anget,
terus sarapan kadang kadang udah disiapin sama mamah hihihi, jadi tinggal mangap aja.

although my heart still misses bintaro, and will always do kayanya, uhuks...
i'll be fine. well, if i'm not, then i'll try to be fine, because i want us to be fine.
this is the house i grew up in, tempat jari gue kejepit jendela waktu umur 5 taun,
Where my little sister were born, we slept together side by side,
Terus gue pegangin terus semaleman because i was afraid she stopped breathing.
tempat pacar pertama dateng, tempat pacar pacar selanjutnya dateng, tempat gue dilamar,
tempat hari pertama gue sama baby arka, tempat ari ari anak gue ditanem,
once again, it's home sweet home for me.

our plan for the long run remains the same: building our dreamhouse, doakan yaaah!
with big windows, with spacious garden, with cozy chair for me to read my books,
with dining room, and with this kind of kitchen!

pic from google


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Ibu dan anak

pregnancy's best buys

Down time and the meltdown