that thing about wedding

i clearly have a thing about wedding
yang gue selalu inget adalah waktu umur 7 (or so)
how super excited i was kalo diajak orangtua gue ke kondangan

i like to chose my own dress,
then combed my hair several times sambil nungguin mamah pake jarik
then i got to sprinkle a drop of mini perfume my mom gave me
and refused to get in the car before i made sure my shoes are perfectly polished
and that lace on my socks are nicely placed around my ankle

yang setelah dipikir pikir sekarang, 
hadehhh, centil beneurrr ini anakkk
duhhh mudah mudahan ngga nurun ke kinan

growing up, i has always been mesmerized by wedding
tapi makin lama makin ngerti esensinya
i always thought the penganten was the greatest people on earth
they always, always and always looked perfect!!!
sangking terseponanya, biasanya gue suka males makan makanan catering
jadi cuma nongkrong depan meja dessert untuk ngemilin kue kue & puding aja
i was so busy looking around
at the decoration, at the guests, at the flowers behind the happy couple

on my mid twenties, perkawinan kemudian berubah jadi ajang reuni
yes, temen temen mulai nikah, kita kita pada dateng
spent some times di salon, harus keliatan keren dong makkk
haha hihi, foto bareng, nongkrong nongkrong afterwards
terus pulang kerumah dengan galau karena ngga punya pacar
CURHAT, MUCH?

as i age over the great quarter life
weddings become scary!!!
bokkk... apalagi wedding sodara ye
hastagahhh drakhonnn... malaaayyysia
ditanya "kapan nyusul? mana pacarnya? kamu cantik banget, kok sendirian?"
terus harus jawab dengan muka manis
padahal dalem hati pingin jorokin yang nanya ke dandang somay
me-hhh ask me again about rasa chocolate cake? hambarrr
kambing guling? asemmm!
betek tu de maxxx

di usia ini juga, mata gue mulai terbuka sama life AFTER the wedding
how the happy-perfect looking-couple must adjust and compromise to each other
musti saling ngalah
musti saling kuat tahan godaan
musti nabung bersama
musti ini, dan musti itu setelah pengantin pria berjabat & mengucap ijab qobul
setelah mereka berdua sungkem sama orangtua
minta maaf dan minta izin membina keluarga sendiri
keseluruhan prosesi ini bisa banget bikin gue mrebes mili
ASLI! jadi kalo dateng akad nikah, gue selalu siapin tisu yang banyak
dan selalu ngga pake eyeliner

how's my own wedding anyway?
errr... i was upset at the end of the party
karena konde gue terlalu berat dan pala gue pusiiing banget
hahaha, jadi abis turun panggung, this beautiful bride rushed into the dressing room
co-po-tin-kon-de
the thing i love the most about my wedding was the weather
nah, sentimentil kan gue... mehehehehe

jadi gue selalu suka sama udara bandung di pagi hari yang cerah
anginnya dingin, tapi matahari nya anget
nah alhamdulilah terlaksana deh ijab qabul erwin and papi pada jam 9an
dimana ijk duduk manis bener pake kebaya brokat warna putih
yang mana padahal kaki gue kesemutan loh bok, tapi ketutup sama binar binar bahagiya
dan tetep, dengan konde segede mobil nissan march
menggondeli kepala gua
ya oke, lebay... gue emang dendem sama tu konde. tapi asli berat bener itu konde

after my own wedding, praktis ngga ada lagi yang mengancam
sekarang sih enteng banget kalo kondangan keluarga
paling paling dikomentarin "eh, anaknya udah 2. ngga mau nambah?"
dan gue bisa jawab enteng sambil makan those bite size cakes
"engga ah... saya kan model, badan harus dijaga"
berlalu sambil kibas kerudung

oh but you know what, i actually met erwin (again) at a relative's wedding!
jadi setelah kita putus di tahun 2002 (i think), he went to the NL
when he was back for good, his mom made him attend my cousin's wedding
so when he arrived, the party was almost over
i was slouching at the chair
sanggul & jarik dedel duwel karna udah dari pagi di gedung itu

dan tiba tiba bude gue dateng dengan gestur hebitawati
rapi rapiin kain gue dan bilang "ada erwin tuh, sana ditemenin"
i was like "JENG JENG JEEENG"
dengan jengah gue nyamperin dan ngajak ngobrol basa basi
sementara di pojok sana, bude dan tante tante gue ngobrol sambil senyam senyum
krrrkkk... awkward moment

the wedding was on weekend
dan hari seninnya, dia email gue
i swear i was jolting with excitement waktu terima emailnya
bilang minta ditemenin cari kemeja, celana dll
karena dia baru keterima kerja di jakarta
the rest? happy ending?

BELON CYINNN... masi jauh perjalanan cintakyu padanya

anyway, funny how you should not hate something too much
i wouldn't hate kawinan sodara so much if i knew i'll meet my future husband at the event

[an hour before meeting my future husband. bandung, october 2007]