Mirror mirror

looking back at my previous post these weeks,
isinya nelangsa semua hahaha, maap yahhh pirsawan tersayang.

last night i was still feeling extra miserable,
dengan combo combo menarik semacam challenge kantor,
anak rewel, tugas sekolah, asisten baru, urusan si mamah...
dan lain lainnya... *sigh*
erw and i were sitting on our couch, he caught some bad signal from my mind.
as if bitchy bitcherson is comin to town.
he was asking if there's anything he can do, to make me feel better.
yaampunnn, manis banget si gunduttt *ciyummm*,
at the end, gue nya merasa ngga enak banget.
for feeling miserable and all that, and to behave badly to my husband.
my one and only husband.

terus gue ceritain deh combo combo yang gue alami beberapa hari ini,
in full detail.
being a genuine male, dia menyarankan beberapa solusi logis yang ekstrim.
"yaudah, berenti kerja aja."
yakan, ekstrimis kan... *sigh*
solusi kaya gitu jelas aja gue tolak mentah mentah. bah.

then he asked again "so what do you want me to do?"
gue literally diem. ngga bisa jawab. karena gue gak tau, gue mau apa!
gile... mean hormones oh mean hormones...

jadi, along the conversation, i keep trying to explain, how do i feel...

how do i want things to turn, what do i want, dan ternyata gue cuma pengen cerita aja.
ngga kurang, ngga lebih. i just need to blahhh a lot.
you know, girls. on PMS days... cuma pingin cerita aja, abis itu ya agak legaan sih.
solusi untuk masing masing combo juga udah ada.

jadi tadi malem, gue sadar betapa pentingnya ngaca,
when i act bitchy and all that, i wasn't looking at the mirror.
i was being this mean queen...
terus ngga sadar juga, kalo perilaku gitu ngebuat si erw pusing tujuh keliling.
oh i'm so sorry *pasang emoticon memble-tapi kece-disini*

this morning i did a little throwback to last year's lebaran.
suasana lebih sulit karena ngga ada inval, but i survived it!
i did well...
abis baca itu, i actually felt better about myself afterwards.
so yeah... i know i shouldn't blame it on anything but myself,
tapi asli deh... i barely known myself last night...
rasanya tu cuma pingin marah marah aja gitu, sama nangis.
oh my... rasanya gak pingin banget keulang perasaan kaya gini.
i was feeling low about myself, snapped to my kids, and made erw uncomfortable,
i was losing my rational... udah gilakkk... parah benerrr.
rasanya ingin self slappp!

PMS PMS sebelumnya, gak pernah separah ini deh. asliii.
apalagi sejak gue clean eating amatiran, jaga makan, banyak minum air putih,
banyak olah raga, gak makan gorengan & junk food gitu,
badan kerasa banget lebih enak. masalah feeling juga gak parah.
i feel a lot better on my menstrual period. lahir & batin.

i guess it's the huge tension i've been keeping since lebaran event,
ditambah beberapa hal lain yang numpuk numpuk,
jadi kaya argo nya belum nol, tapi udah ditambahin combo combo.
wiken short getaway kemaren, emang anak anak kan nginep di rumah mamah,
tapi karena si arka panas, yaaa guenya jadi kepikiran, ahirnya getaway kurang sukses,
hati tetep kurang plong, badan tetep kurang istirahat, pikiran tetep penuh.
at the end tetep ngga tenang, sport jantung, deg degan... ksian ya akuuu huhuhu...
ini musti dikasi liburan ke bora bora kayanya deh, biar plonggg...
se deposito-tabungan-sedompet dompet langsung plonggg juga abis itu hahaha