The hardest days of 2012

since this is the last month of the year,
sah ya kalo gue mentasbihkan beberapa episod the hardest days of the year.

the past 2 weeks officially killed me.
selain to do list yang super bejibun, anak anakpuns sempet pada sakit.
chunk terbesar sih adanya di ujian mata kuliah yang satu "itu-tuuuh",
sampe males nyebut namanya.
i've been literally busting my ass, preparing for the final exam.

the sequences includes 3 sessions of heavy discussion with the experts,
1 session of belajar belajar lucu sama cewek cewek *muahhh*,
and many many nights of studying individually.
i don't sleep before 1 am, and always gets up at 5 am.
i didn't take any extra rest, as i prefer to spend the time to study on weekends.

persiapannya ultimate gitu, ujiannya sukses dong?
tidaks. hahaha... malah ditengah tengah ujian, maag gue kambuh.
perut sakittt kaya kembung, i didn't know what to do.
but i was not sorry.
gue udah mendictate diri gue sendiri, that any result i'll  get on this subject,
will be considered as a good result.
yang penting gue udah berusaha sekeras mungkin, sebisa mungkin,
preparing myself for the test.

but after the exam, out of the ordinary, i was not feeling happier.
worse, it was like seeing the dementors if such thing existed.
all my happiness was sucked into a black hole & they didn't come back!

gue yang biasanya gampang hepi, kemaren ini engga banget,
yang biasanya liat anak anak lari lari bisa ketawa, didn't happen.
yes i still love my kids to the moon and back, btw.

after talking to my girlfriend risyehe, gue baru nyadar, what was really going to myself.
i was tired. that's it.
all the school drama, all the exam prep, diluar perkiraan gue,
semua pilihan yang udah gue ambil, ternyata bebannya cukup berat.
belum lagi ditambah drama TK yang mau gak mau bikin gue galau & sedih...
ih kesian amattt sih gueee!

dan kenapa small things couldn't lift up my mood,
mungkin dibawah sadar, i was beyond tired.
makanya setelah hampir semua urusan to do list ini beres,
my body & mind was drained, kering kerontang kerempeng.

kalo udah gini, gue selalu inget satu hal yang diajarin bola.
when you fall, bounce.
no matter how deep you fall, don't let yourself go deeper,
go bounce.
then you probably will fall again, that's your clue to bounce even higher.
so you'll meet the ground again at the end.
lagian mustinya kalo bola, semakin kenceng dia jatoh, mustinya makin membel ya.
terutama bola bekel! hahaha.

as these past 2 weeks has been so hard,
i do think i need to give myself a break, push the pause button for a little longer.
holiday season is coming up, tho.
we have family beach vacation on the list, and also office outing on early january.
with still many things to do at the office next week. cumungudddhhh!

so.
this weekend morning starts with watching the rerun of csi miami.
dear stress, please leave me alone.
and dear, jiwa gue yang murahan dan gampang hepi, please please please come back!