Talk the talk, walk the talk

jadi gini critanya, salah satu sahabat gue, curhat.
kok suaminya tuh cuek banget ya...
pulang kantor, brosing. atau main PS... istrinya dicuekin.
jarang ngobrol, kalo ngobrolin topik malah jadi berantem.
terus dia nanya, kalo gue sama erw gimana?

to be honest, gue bingung gue mau jawab apaan.
erw is a very quiet person, asli. lemfeng dot kom.
malah anak anak kantor gue baru ngeliat dia ketawa 1 kali.
pas outing rame rame taun lalu, dan mereka kaget,
erw bisa ketawa ya ternyata!
dogol.

ahirnya gue jawab, well...
knowing erw emang bawaan oroknya lempeng & pendiem,
so we work things out so we could talk.
dari sisi gue, pertama tama sih gue bilang dulu ke dia,
something like "eh dude, we should really talk as husband and wife loh."
he was like "huh?! so what should i do?"
gitu masa... sangking clueless nya.

ahirnya gue detail-in aja, bahwa marriage is 80% about sharing both our thought.
bahwa we SHOULD really talk, adult kinda talk.
i should be able to express whatever i feel, and he should too.
we should be able to fix things up kalo lagi berantem.
berahir dengan "i think we should have a regular date".
and he was like "oh, okei."

i made my terms clear, bahwa i want a certain kind of marriage,
misalnya, aku pingin banget tiap malem kita bisa ngobrol banyak,
tentang klien aku di kantor, tentang study grup aku,
terus dengerin cerita kamu tentang upgrade software, terus kamu makan apa tadi siang.
aku pingin kamu spending enough time sama anak anak,
ajak lah mereka cuci mobil tiap sabtu pagi, beliin mereka bubur candil.
ladenin lah arka maen kungfu, temenin lah kinan makan sari kelapa.

dari situ, semuanya lancar?
enggak. hahaha...
i did push it a little bit, knowing erw mungkin gakan bergeming kalo cuma disuruh:
"yang kita ngobrol suami istri dong, yang..."

so i put a little effort on it.
i act funny, bukannya gue berbakat ngelucu ya kalo iya, pasti udah daftar srimulat.
gue belagak sok lucu aja... sok imut gituloh... boleh kan sok imut sama suami hihi.
mmmh, kalo diceritain sih jatohnya nggilani ya. but it magically works!
surprisingly, erw can be cute too hahaha... aneh banget. aneh tapi nyata.
i instantly recall that gesture as my entrance.
kalo dia udah mulai belagak 'lucu', that's my cue to throw a topic,
then the conversation will roll.

dan alhamdulilah emang kita berdua dead serious about this marriage,
dari awal reunited juga masing masing udah nawaitu, gue akan kawin sama lo.
makanya perubahan ini berasa banget dampak baiknya untuk kita berdua.
for me personally, berasa banget di pihak gue perubahannya, sekarang dan dulu.
dulu, kalo gue berantem pas pacaran, harus gue yang mengakhiri kalimat.
which mean i was right and he was wrong.
skarang gak gitu.
selain biasanya gue yang salah, karena jugding by emotional feeling,
dan gue takut untuk ngelawan balik karena takut durhaka sama suami,
sedangkan erw terasa lebih bener karena semua argumennya rasional dan masuk logika,
now i tend to shut my mouth, cool my brain, baru ngobrol lagi untuk cari solusi.

on everyday's topic, sebenernya kita banyakan gtalk-an daripada ngobrol beneran.
ya gimana, dia bangun 4:30, gue anter ke halte bus jam 5.
gue masih celenggg, abis begadang.
sedangkan malem, gue balik jam 12-an, beliou udah ngorox kadang kadang.
kalopun dia jemput gue, biasanya dia langsung bobo,
sedangkan gue bebersih dulu, minum susu, santai santai dulu.
makanya kita banyak ngobrolin yang penting penting via gtalk sebenernya.
but doesn't matter. yang penting kita saling bicara.

padahal ya, pembicaraan kita gak selalu tentang yang penting penting,
kadang kadang cuma karena liat paha anak gadis remaja di mal,
atau liat orang naik motor bertiga... see, gak penting banget.
but we develop our conversation dari situ.

despite of any differences that occur between us,
ternyata kita bedua sama sama manja terselubung.
sebenernya tetep butuh unyu unyu-an, tapi sepertinya unyu tu cocoknya buat anak bungsu,
we're too proud to be the first born, our ego sticks out to the sky.
tapi ya gitu, sebenernya kita berdua tuh manja juga at the end.
but who would've guessed karakter itu muncul dari orang lempeng macem erw?
ketawa di depan umum aja jarang hahaha.

makin kesini, gue makin merasa bahwa ternyata kita berdua sama aja,
sama sama sulung, sama sama egonya tinggi,
sama sama sumbu pendek, sama sama ngga sabaran,
who would've guessed that i got the exact same character?
hal hal yang dulu gue gedeg-in banget, ones that i can't stand,
ternyata gue juga percisss kayak gitu hahaha. namanya jodoh ya!

terus sekarang?
if i ever proudly announce that he's my bestfriend, it's true.
he's the newest addition to my bestfriend wagon.
berasa banget makin kesini, gue makin bisa terbuka sama dia,
as well as he is to me.
walopun gue tetep ngga terlalu ngerti kalo dia mulai ngobrolin teknis teknis,
software architect, sama term term matematik yang bikin kuping gua mimisan.
dan kita makin jarang banget berantem, selain makin sama sama sibuk,
ketika ketemu biasanya udah numpukkk kangennya.
jadi pinginnya di kamar aja, ngeliatin anak anak pada main,
sambil peluk pelukan...

this year will be our 5th year. couldn't be happier to finally hit year 5.
pacaran akika paling lama 4 taun bok, itupun udah ditahan tahaninnn.
so yeah, this is a personal achievement for me.
and great achievement for both of us, who talk the talk,
and eventually, walk the talk.